What is up with all of the drug ads on tv lately? It's like every other annoying ad is for some random ailment or another. We the great medicated of America. Rather like the old pharmacist shtick that racist fucktard Kramer guy from Seinfeld used to do on the old comedy show ‘Fridays' back in the 80s (ABC's attempt at a Saturday Night Live esque variety show). Yes, I know he has a real name but we all know him as Kramer so why bother really?
‘Feeling poorly? Don't suffer! Take a pill! Life getting you down? Can't handle it? Take a pill! Dog run away? Neighbor's kid too ugly? Take a pill!!'
Classic that but I digress.
I'm all for home doctoring and I am rather a hypochondriac by nature, but come on folks! The ads are so vague!
‘Do you sometimes suffer from feelings of sadness, anger, jocularity, hunger, melancholy, remorse, stupidity, fear, loathing, insomnia, frequent urination, or sudden urges for cheese?'
Erm, doesn't everyone at some point or another? Especially cheese! They don't say 'behold the power of cheese' without good reason!
'Then Baboron sulfer fulmide ES can help!'
What I find quite scary are the possible ‘mild' side affects. Side affects that include lovely things like hemorrhaging, seizures, blindness, weeping lesions, and excess hair growth on your palms. Wait, that's caused by something else....nevermind.
Anywho I would have to have something really fecking debilitating in order to go with any of those side affects! Seriously! I would have to have chronic inflamatory albino leprosy or some such dramatic multisyllabic illness thingy.
I mean I might put up with the possibility of a headache, dry mouth, sleepiness, sleeplessness, etc. but crazy serious stuff? Never! I wouldn't even try those creepy fat free potato chips made with OlestraTM as they could apparently cause you anal leakage.
Yeah. No thanks. Not even a consideration. Save me from anal leakage!
And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.....
