Mood:  mischievious

I was running late to work the other day so I was hauling along in the suicide lane when....

Complete stop just a few blocks from work. A complete stop and I can see nothing. 15 minutes later, I still see nothing. Not only do I not see anything up ahead, I have not moved more than a few feet forward.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

I turned into the local hood for Mr. Toad's wild ride through the ghetto with 12 gazillian other fellow commuters when some jackass in a pickup pulling a dog grooming trailer (complete with said company's name and phone number) comes tearing up the street on my right side as if to cut into the line ahead of the rest of us. Me thinkest not.

He put on his left turn blinker and cuts in front of me. I honk at him. Just a brief tap. I wasn't really all that irritated as I was yakking on the phone and what's one more car in line right? Turns out, he didn't cut in front of me. He actually pulled all the way through to the left into the 1950's style motel apartments and parked.

I was still on the phone when I heard "Fuck you!"

I looked over and realized it was Mr. Pet Groomer standing outside his apartment and it was directed at me!

So hoping to disarm him or at least lull him into a false sense of security, I gave him a big ol' cheesy smile and the Fonz thumb 'cuz it's all good people. It seemed that Mr. Pet Groomer took umbrage with Henry Winkler characters as he was not amused. Go figure.

 "Fuck you Bitch!" 

Wow! Now that was completely unnecessary but now you know of course I can't let it go. ‘Whatever....twat!' I replied giggling.

His jaw dropped like an anvil. "You're a fucking bitch!"

Hey now, that's a good one! ‘Original....twat!' I replied laughing.

He was completely livid by then and screamed "You're a fucking cunt!" and walked back into his apartment, slamming the door.

I shout after him ‘Nice craphole apartment....twat!' and cracked up!

So I moved on down the road still laughing and hooting. It was almost my time to turn when I saw him in my side mirror, smoking a cigarette and gesticulating wildly, pointing my way.

I can't resist. I leaned out the window and yelled back ‘TWAT!'

Oh to be a fly on the wall!

He's just lucky he didn't get a call asking for a quote to groom 2 dirty dogs....TWAT!