29 Nov, 10 > 5 Dec, 10
22 Nov, 10 > 28 Nov, 10
22 Mar, 10 > 28 Mar, 10
7 Sep, 09 > 13 Sep, 09
11 May, 09 > 17 May, 09
4 May, 09 > 10 May, 09
13 Apr, 09 > 19 Apr, 09
16 Mar, 09 > 22 Mar, 09
9 Mar, 09 > 15 Mar, 09
2 Mar, 09 > 8 Mar, 09
19 Jan, 09 > 25 Jan, 09
22 Sep, 08 > 28 Sep, 08
15 Sep, 08 > 21 Sep, 08
1 Sep, 08 > 7 Sep, 08
25 Aug, 08 > 31 Aug, 08
18 Aug, 08 > 24 Aug, 08
11 Aug, 08 > 17 Aug, 08
4 Aug, 08 > 10 Aug, 08
28 Jul, 08 > 3 Aug, 08
14 Jul, 08 > 20 Jul, 08
7 Jul, 08 > 13 Jul, 08
30 Jun, 08 > 6 Jul, 08
23 Jun, 08 > 29 Jun, 08
16 Jun, 08 > 22 Jun, 08
2 Jun, 08 > 8 Jun, 08
26 May, 08 > 1 Jun, 08
19 May, 08 > 25 May, 08
12 May, 08 > 18 May, 08
28 Apr, 08 > 4 May, 08
21 Apr, 08 > 27 Apr, 08
14 Apr, 08 > 20 Apr, 08
3 Mar, 08 > 9 Mar, 08
31 Dec, 07 > 6 Jan, 08
24 Dec, 07 > 30 Dec, 07
17 Dec, 07 > 23 Dec, 07
10 Dec, 07 > 16 Dec, 07
26 Nov, 07 > 2 Dec, 07
19 Nov, 07 > 25 Nov, 07
5 Nov, 07 > 11 Nov, 07
8 Oct, 07 > 14 Oct, 07
1 Oct, 07 > 7 Oct, 07
3 Sep, 07 > 9 Sep, 07
6 Aug, 07 > 12 Aug, 07
23 Jul, 07 > 29 Jul, 07
9 Jul, 07 > 15 Jul, 07
2 Jul, 07 > 8 Jul, 07
25 Jun, 07 > 1 Jul, 07
30 Apr, 07 > 6 May, 07
26 Mar, 07 > 1 Apr, 07
19 Mar, 07 > 25 Mar, 07
5 Mar, 07 > 11 Mar, 07
26 Feb, 07 > 4 Mar, 07
5 Feb, 07 > 11 Feb, 07
29 Jan, 07 > 4 Feb, 07
22 Jan, 07 > 28 Jan, 07
15 Jan, 07 > 21 Jan, 07
27 Nov, 06 > 3 Dec, 06
30 Oct, 06 > 5 Nov, 06
23 Oct, 06 > 29 Oct, 06
16 Oct, 06 > 22 Oct, 06
9 Oct, 06 > 15 Oct, 06
2 Oct, 06 > 8 Oct, 06
25 Sep, 06 > 1 Oct, 06
18 Sep, 06 > 24 Sep, 06
4 Sep, 06 > 10 Sep, 06
28 Aug, 06 > 3 Sep, 06
21 Aug, 06 > 27 Aug, 06
14 Aug, 06 > 20 Aug, 06
7 Aug, 06 > 13 Aug, 06
31 Jul, 06 > 6 Aug, 06
24 Jul, 06 > 30 Jul, 06
17 Jul, 06 > 23 Jul, 06
3 Jul, 06 > 9 Jul, 06
26 Jun, 06 > 2 Jul, 06
19 Jun, 06 > 25 Jun, 06
12 Jun, 06 > 18 Jun, 06
5 Jun, 06 > 11 Jun, 06
29 May, 06 > 4 Jun, 06
22 May, 06 > 28 May, 06
17 Apr, 06 > 23 Apr, 06
10 Apr, 06 > 16 Apr, 06
27 Mar, 06 > 2 Apr, 06
13 Mar, 06 > 19 Mar, 06
27 Feb, 06 > 5 Mar, 06
20 Feb, 06 > 26 Feb, 06
13 Feb, 06 > 19 Feb, 06
6 Feb, 06 > 12 Feb, 06
30 Jan, 06 > 5 Feb, 06
23 Jan, 06 > 29 Jan, 06
16 Jan, 06 > 22 Jan, 06
9 Jan, 06 > 15 Jan, 06
2 Jan, 06 > 8 Jan, 06
26 Dec, 05 > 1 Jan, 06
19 Dec, 05 > 25 Dec, 05
12 Dec, 05 > 18 Dec, 05
5 Dec, 05 > 11 Dec, 05
28 Nov, 05 > 4 Dec, 05
21 Nov, 05 > 27 Nov, 05
24 Oct, 05 > 30 Oct, 05
17 Oct, 05 > 23 Oct, 05
26 Sep, 05 > 2 Oct, 05
5 Sep, 05 > 11 Sep, 05
22 Aug, 05 > 28 Aug, 05
15 Aug, 05 > 21 Aug, 05
8 Aug, 05 > 14 Aug, 05
1 Aug, 05 > 7 Aug, 05
18 Jul, 05 > 24 Jul, 05
11 Jul, 05 > 17 Jul, 05
4 Jul, 05 > 10 Jul, 05
27 Jun, 05 > 3 Jul, 05
20 Jun, 05 > 26 Jun, 05
13 Jun, 05 > 19 Jun, 05
6 Jun, 05 > 12 Jun, 05
30 May, 05 > 5 Jun, 05
16 May, 05 > 22 May, 05
2 May, 05 > 8 May, 05
25 Apr, 05 > 1 May, 05
11 Apr, 05 > 17 Apr, 05
4 Apr, 05 > 10 Apr, 05
28 Mar, 05 > 3 Apr, 05
21 Mar, 05 > 27 Mar, 05
14 Mar, 05 > 20 Mar, 05
7 Mar, 05 > 13 Mar, 05
28 Feb, 05 > 6 Mar, 05
14 Feb, 05 > 20 Feb, 05
31 Jan, 05 > 6 Feb, 05
24 Jan, 05 > 30 Jan, 05
17 Jan, 05 > 23 Jan, 05
10 Jan, 05 > 16 Jan, 05
20 Dec, 04 > 26 Dec, 04
13 Dec, 04 > 19 Dec, 04
6 Dec, 04 > 12 Dec, 04
22 Nov, 04 > 28 Nov, 04
15 Nov, 04 > 21 Nov, 04
1 Nov, 04 > 7 Nov, 04
25 Oct, 04 > 31 Oct, 04
11 Oct, 04 > 17 Oct, 04
4 Oct, 04 > 10 Oct, 04
27 Sep, 04 > 3 Oct, 04
20 Sep, 04 > 26 Sep, 04
13 Sep, 04 > 19 Sep, 04
6 Sep, 04 > 12 Sep, 04
30 Aug, 04 > 5 Sep, 04
16 Aug, 04 > 22 Aug, 04
9 Aug, 04 > 15 Aug, 04
2 Aug, 04 > 8 Aug, 04
26 Jul, 04 > 1 Aug, 04
12 Jul, 04 > 18 Jul, 04
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Meg-O-Rama...The Blog
Comments? Snark? Hate Mail? Click here and email me
Thursday, December 27, 2007
These Are a Few of My Favorite Things
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Thelonious Monk

Here I sit, smug after Christmas. Not bad. Not bad at all. I am off to scrounge in the fridge for some ham or leftover breakfast casserole or grilled lemon pepper pork or....you get my drift but I wanted to take a brief moment and share some of my favs before the New Year.

These are a few of my latest and greatest ‘Favorite Things'....

 

  • The Daring Book for Girls by Miriam Peskowitz
  • Nintendo DS Lite
  • Fresh Cannabis Santal
  • Philosophy Amazing Grace Emollient
  • Brain Age 2
  • My new 28 bottle wine fridge (thanks sis!)
  • KEDJ (The Edge) Acoustic Christmas album
  • Votivo Aromatic Candle No. 19A Clean Crisp White


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 2:15 PM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Wednesday, January 2, 2008 5:50 AM NZT
Monday, December 24, 2007
Merry Christmas
Mood:  lyrical
Now Playing: Oh Holy Night

Merry Christmas from ‘everyone' here at Meg-O-Rama! If you do not celebrate Christmas, then happy whatever you do celebrate! If you're an agnostic or atheist and celebrate nothing more than a mocha frappucino at Starbuck's, I think you're stupid giving up an excuse for gifties! Well that and the universe is infintely greater than any one man's beliefs so better safe than sorry in my mind.

Anywho, here's to 2008 being a stellar year for everyone and best wishes for a presidential candidate from any party who I could actually be excited about supporting because right now, it's more a choice of what is the lesser of all evils. But that's just my opinion and admittedly, I have been known to be wrong....

 

 


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 8:01 PM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Wednesday, January 2, 2008 5:53 AM NZT
Sunday, December 23, 2007
All I Want for Christmas
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Rat Pack Christmas

Dear Santa,


I have been ‘good' this year. I know that being labeled ‘good' is not an objective process but I do feel that my behavior for 2007 definitely falls well within what would be considered ‘good', if not downright swell, by most of the general populace. That being said, here's my hit list for next week. Jot down some notes please will ya'?

 

Please bring me:

 

1. Remote control Sumo Wrestlers

2. Play-Doh scented perfume

3. A Dog the Bounty Hunter Chia pet

4. Another case of Pipeline Porter from Kona Brewery

5. An "I'm with the prude" t-shirt

6. The Best of the Muppet Show 15 DVD set

7. The Hilary Clinton nutcracker

8. Junior Lasik surgery kit

9. The Marie Antoinette Action Figure with Ejector Head

10. A one year subscription to the "Bacon of the Month Club"

11. A bumper sticker that says "Even my retarded dog beat up your honor student"


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 8:01 PM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Wednesday, January 2, 2008 5:55 AM NZT
Are you the next winner of Publisher's Clearing House
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Johnny Test (cartoon)

One time, I decided I was going to order a magazine from Publisher’s Clearing House. Don’t ask. I respond to all of their sweepstakes and for some reason, I was overwhelmed with guilt that I never bought anything from them.

 

Well, the purchase choices are rather limited unless you are a 67 yr old mid western house wife. I don’t need a battery operated ice scraper. I don’t want The Bible on 10 cds. I already have the fingertip personal massager. I decided that I’d order a magazine. You can always use another magazine! It’s bathroom fodder if nothing else or you do as I do and take a few months with you on business trips and read them on the plane.

 

So all I was all shades of excited to see my first edition of Marie Claire! The day came and in my mailbox was the highly anticipated issue! I whipped it out and opened it up and realized it wasn’t Marie Claire it was a copy of Maxim! What the…..?!

 

Long and short of it, apparently I marked the wrong box on the order form. Oops! Crap! Like I really wanted a subscription to Maxim! The articles aren’t nearly as good as those in Razor or Playboy and I don’t want subscriptions to those either! I just have no desire to try to cherry pick articles to read from out of where they have been shoehorned in between pics of naked chicks for the next 12 months! That’s why I totally LURVE Details as it has all the super cool articles, hip new artists, music, fashion, social issues, etc. and no nudie pics but I digress….

 

So the question begged to be asked—what would be the worst magazine subscriptions to get that you never really signed up for? What magazine would you never want to receive for 12 months?

 

Here’s my list thus far…..

 
  • Physics Today
  • Golf Digest
  • People…en Español
  • Bassmasters
  • COSMOGirl
  • Soap Opera Digest
  • Just Cross Stitch
  • Ranger Rick/Highlights
  • PC World
  • Gifted Child Today
  • Cat Fancy
  • The Economist
  • Christian Retailing


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 6:13 AM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Ladies and Gentlemen, we are experiencing technical difficulties
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: Deep Purple

Not sure what made the last post go all shades of verklempt on me, but Lycos is working on it.

Thanks for the emails about the issue with only being able to post one comment. Never really thought about anyone other than friends and family wanting to post so by al means, have at after they fix the solo post dealio.


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 6:03 AM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Lucky Slice of SMILING BREAD rare WON?T MOLD
Mood:  silly
Now Playing: Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
If I've said it once, I'll say it three thousand and five times: I LOVE EBAY! Seriously!

 

You really can find almost anything on eBay from plastic crab claw harmonicas to underage Pilipino houseboys. Does it get any better than this? Only at Home Depot but I digress....

 

So I'm trolling eBay other night finishing scads of last minute Christmas shopping when I came across the following which I submit for your bemused perusal:

 

"Lucky Slice of SMILING BREAD rare WON'T MOLD"

 

WHAT?!?!

 

My first thought was that I had stumbled across one of those fun poorly translated listings from China complete with lead based paint like:

 

"Most Honorable Father of Ancestor boy Real Russian you buy!" Or some other poorly worded random item....

 

But nooooo, it is exactly what it is. A piece of toast.

 

Hmmmmmm....why this surprises me, I don't know as you can find Jesus on a Poptart, Ghandi on a dartboard and a ham hock shaped like Marlon Brando's clavicle on eBay. I checked out some other weird foody listings like the pork rind shaped like an ‘S' (bidding is up to $6 on that one!) but none of them held my attention like the Lucky Slice of SMILING BREAD! Check it mang! Check it! I mean Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. Mang! Only in America!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260193075748&ru=http%3A%2F%2Fsearch.ebay.com%3A80%2Fsearch%2Fsearch.dll%3Ffrom%3DR40%26_trksid%3Dm37%26satitle%3D260193075748%26category0%3D%26fvi%3D1

 

I especially like the description 'cuz really what do you get for the person who has everything this Christmas but a rare piece of toast...

If I was bursting, it wouldn't be with excitement.... per se.


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 4:09 PM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, December 10, 2007
A Leetle Bit Hypochondriac
Mood:  special
Now Playing: Kanye West

Marie Osmond may be a little bit country and her brother may be a little bit rock and roll, but I am definitely a little bit hypochondriac.

 

Now don't get me wrong. It's not an ongoing crisis deal that effects how I live. I don't think I have the Bubonic Plague on a regular basis.....more like an every few years basis. Just every now and then I become convinced that I may have some dread disease.

 

Perhaps it's because as a little child, my sister told me that gypsies left me in the trash and mom and pop were just fattening me up to eat me. Convenient if I could blame my ‘condition' on her, but most likely it's not due to the trauma she inflicted on me on an ongoing basis during our younger years lest we forget the story of Rafael Septian but I digress.

 

The first time I remember thinking I had a reason to contact the Centers for Disease Control was in 4th grade. My best friend, Kristen, invited me to go to Key Biscayne, FL, with her parents for vacation. We played on the beach and ran around from morning to night. It was a blast!

 

One morning, while brushing my teeth, I was horrified to notice that my skin looked kind of weird all shades of bubbly and grey. OH MY GOD!!!! I reached up with a shaking hand and touched a patch on my arm. I was beyond horrified to see it start to pull away!!!! I then pulled at it some more and the entire section came off in my hand!!!! I ran out of the bathroom crying!

 

I wouldn't calm down but then again, I wouldn't tell Kristen's parents what was wrong. I just kept crying and rocking like an unhappy autistic. Disturbed, they had me call my parents.

 

The phone call went a little like this:

 

Pop: Hello?

Me: Pop, it's me.

Pop: What's the matter?

Me: I have Leprosy!!!

Pop: What?!

Me: My skin's coming off! I'm worried my nose will fall into my Cheerios!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Pop: What?! Let me talk to Dr. Munsell! (Kristen's dad)

 

Dr. Munsell got on the phone and laughed as he told pop that no, I didn't have Leprosy, I had gotten a bad sunburn the first day there and I was now peeling.

 

Oops! Sunburn and subsequent peeling. Check! On the bright side, at least my nose never fell into my Cheerios and I was never sent away to an island to go live with the other slowly disintegrating lepers.

 

It didn't really happen again until college. One morning, after yet another wild night of partying, I woke up around 7am and wandered out to the kitchen. As I was standing at the sink getting a glass of water I looked out the window to the backyard and the entire yard was a blur of white! OH MY GOD! I was blind!!! I had alcohol poisoned myself into blindness! How on earth would I ever buy clothes and dress myself again!?! Would I have to get a handler much like Stevie Wonder? Hopefully one with better fashion sense....

 

I rubbed my eyes and tried to look again. I realized that I could see shapes but no colors! WAHOO!!! I wasn't blind! But I had apparently partied myself into color blindness! As I stood there overwhelmed by the sheer well overwhelmingness of the situation, I saw a sparrow hopping around the yard. Huh? If I was colorblind, how did I see that?

 

Upon closer inspection, I realized that I was not blind, colorblind or really anything other than just screamingly hungover and incredibly stupid. It had apparently snowed overnight in Tucson and, desert rat that I am, I hadn't recognized the snow for what it was.

 

Oops! Snow and a hangover. Check! Again, on the bright side, I can still watch Desperate Housewives and my sister will never dress me like Brittney Spears for her own amusement.

 

I have to say though I am getting better. Example? Just last week when I was sick, I had a temp of 102-103 and my neck hurt soooo fricking bad! As I lay on the couch suffering, I only briefly considered a diagnosis of meningitis. Briefly but not seriously. I mean, I didn't even Google it for more information....

 

Baby steps people! Baby steps!


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 2:23 PM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Wednesday, January 2, 2008 5:58 AM NZT
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Creeping Crud
Mood:  down
Now Playing: John Mayer
I had seven strains of the creeping crud come through my house during Thanksgiving and I was rather certain that I had successfully bypassed the contagions when SLAM! WHAM! CRACK! I was down! We've got a piper down! So I have been guzzling Gatorade, hibernating like a fleece encrusted grizzly and feeling like ass. But not as asslike as I would have been if I hadn't started sucking down the oj and Zicam.

Ode to Zicam Multi-Symptom Cold & Flu

 

Zicam

You help me sleep

You take the aches away

You rock my world

And make it all better

However

"Virtually tasteless"

Is a horrific lie

Unless someone

Takes it

With Jagermeister!

 

My suggestion? Take it like a shot. Toss it back quickly and gulp down an oj chaser. <shudder!>


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 8:01 PM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Wednesday, January 2, 2008 5:56 AM NZT
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Subject: Random Thoughts
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Neil Diamond-Sweet Caroline
Subject: Random Thoughts
Date: Wed, 21 Nov 2007 06:15:18 -0800
From: "Anthony"

To: "Meg-O-Rama"

(1)    Happy Thanksgiving; Happy Birthday; Happy Happy; et al

(2)    Did you think that Neil Diamond admitting that his song referencing touching, etc. was based upon his view of a 5 year old girl dressed in her riding togs with her pony was incredibly creepy and pedophilic?

"Touching me, touching you! Sweet Caroline!...." Yeah, nothing creepy there! <shudder!>


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 8:01 PM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Current Crushes
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Elio Schaivo

Current lurves of the moment....

 
  • Sam the Cooking Guy
  • The Adventures of Darren Shan
  • Pipeline Porter from the Kona Brewing Company
  • Violet Crumble
  • Pill Pockets (for dogs)
  • Pomegranate martinis
  • The photographs of John Drysdale


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 8:01 PM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Boots!
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Nelly Furtado - Powerless
The other night I'm watching Survivorman and he's stranded in Costa Rica (tough life) when he starts in about the importance of shaking out your boots to make sure no scorpions or other biting crawly things have slithered in overnight.

 

Makes sense to me. We have scorpions out here, it would be logical to shake out my muck boots each morning and make sure nothing nested in them prior to inserting my foot. Yep. Makes sense but will I ever remember to do it? Probably not.

 

So the next morning, I proved myself all too right. Do I remember to shake out my boots? Nope. I blindly stuffed my foot in and started to step down when I suddenly realized that my foot was not alone in my boot as something slithered across my foot!

 

Oh mang! I forgot to shake out my boots and now something's in my fucking boot!!!! It's a scorpion! I know it! I start screaming! "Oh no! No! No! No! No! No mutherfuckingscorpian!!!! NO!NO!NO!" then "Ohshitablackwidow! A brown recluse!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!''or something similarly worded as I don't have total recall of the traumatic event at this point.

 

I started hopping around wildly on one leg while trying to rescue my foot by pulling off the infested boot. It was a rather alarmingly realistic impression of a guineapig in a blender when I fell backwards onto the lawn. The boot came free! Hallelujah!!!!!

 

I flung the bug ridden boot over my head away from me and out flew the dreaded insect! I jumped up to get away and of course to see what I narrowly escaped death from, when I saw it! It was the dreaded and ever so deadly ‘do not eat' desiccant silica package that came in the boots when I bought them!!!!

Yeah.

 

On the bright side, no one else saw and I didn't get hurt.


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 8:01 PM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
It's All About the Jury Duty....
Mood:  incredulous

"Daddy's a litigator. That's the scariest type of lawyer. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. And daddy's so good he gets $500 to argue with people. But he argues with me for free because I'm his daughter."

- Cher, Clueless (1995)

 

Jury duty! Joy! I hate jury duty! It leaves me feeling totally conflicted! Part of me is SO not wanting to be there! What happens if I get on some horrific endless travesty/O.J.-esque trial of the Century?! The other part of me, junior couch detective/forensics whore, sooooo wants to be picked for some insanely intense case! Yup. Wants to.

 

So anywho, the call of the overcrowded justice system came and I answered.

 

It changed me forever. Seriously. As I looked around the room at the motley assortment of people who had apparently been shaken out of the local trailer park just hours before, all I could think was this was SO not a jury of my peers! All of them mindlessly engaged in the ever thrilling 15 minute DVD presentation of "How Our Judicial System Works" all nodding along and sometimes looking surprised as the content spun out. My peers? I think not! One girl was taking notes during the ‘3 branches of government' portion of the presentation. Hello! You might as well watch the opening to Law & Order! That broad was SO not my peer! Thank God I wasn't actually on trial! I probably would have tried to commit suicide with an Oreo Cakester!

 

My favorite potential jurist of the day was the freak who has set up a fortress on one of the tables in the jury waiting room. There she sat in her Halloween sweatshirt (mind you it was 90 billion degrees here) as we're having a minor heat wave) and her 8 trillion rubber bracelets for a rainbow of causes. I couldn't distinguish them after Breast Cancer (pink), Livestrong (yellow) and Be Green (green, go figure). I had no idea what the other ones were for. There were like 7 of them so perhaps they were the 7 Deadly Sins bracelets-tres popular outside of the Kabbalah movement! She had carefully set up wall of about 15 Sudoku books and a row of carefully lined up pens. Her age was indiscriminate but she had the face of a pissed off platypus--you know, kind of sour and all over the place. Combine it all with her big "BOO!" earrings and her shaved dog's ass hairdo and voila! 5 shades of crazy!

 

We had to fill out our juror forms and this cute little 20-something yute with a faux-hawk didn't bring a writing instrument. He leans over to ask Cause de Jour if he can borrow one of her dozen or so carefully lined up implements. He asked at least 3 times and she ignored him each and every time. He finally leaned over to pick one up and she reared back, all shades of furious, and smacked the crap out of his hand! He fell back apologizing and she went back to her puzzle. He looked over at me and I smiled and said "If you grab one and run, I'll totally block her." To which he cracked up. I gave him my pen and hung with him chatting for the next 3 hours until we were released.

 

I saved faux hawk from the crazy broad so as the video said, Jury Duty in Arizona-Make a Difference! Oh yeah I did!


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 8:01 PM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, November 5, 2007
Current Burning Crushes
Mood:  silly
Now Playing: Cream - Badge
  These are a few of my current favorite things...
  • The books of S.M. Stirling & Rick Riordan
  • Creamland Green Chili Dip
  • Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaner
  • Zents Ore bath salts
  • Saulo from Brazil (burning man crush on him)
  • Young's Luxury Double Chocolate Stout
  • Essey Mademoiselle nail polish
  • Lifehouse - Everything


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 8:01 PM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Once Again, Who Are the Freakies in Your Neighborhood?.
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: K T Tunstal
Soooo, recently I had a leetle shin ding at Casa de Megster. Not truly a house warming more like a late open house you know. My peeps came in from all over to attend. Total awesomeness!

 

One of my best friends from college (A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...) flew in from Dallas to attend. I grabbed her at Sky Harbor after arrival and we headed out for some bevs and noshes.

 

Long story short, we hit Rock Bottom Brewery for bar food, hand crafted beers, sports on t.v. and of course, the male of the species. For a chain restaurant, I totally lurve the place! Especially the outdoor patio and the hottie brewmasters but I digress.

 

So we were happily yacking, noshing and quaffing when I totally smack the guy behind me during my rather enthusiastic re-telling of the Edward Black divorce saga.

 

"Dude, seriously! His friends told him she was cheating on him and he didn't believe them! So his best friend had a serious come to Jesus talk with him and convinced him to get a PI. PI catches her and the cabana boy-has ‘em on video mind you-playing Mr. Muggles rides to tuna town. Does everyone have a porn out now? I mean seriously...the Long Island Lolita and her rather skanky and narfy husband and now this?"

 

It was during this rather passionate retelling that I cuffed poor Louis up side the head. In fact, I rather startled the whole table of guys in from Brazil and Argentina for a major corporate conference. So ‘perturbed' were they that they insisted on us joining them and proceeded to buy the beer. So of course, I liked them. Free beer=Good. Very Homeresque I know but oddly enough true!

 

Had a wonderful time talking world views, politics and the Paris Hilton sex tape (see, another one!). Besides my cousin is half Portuguese and worked in Sao Paulo for years and one of the guys, the yummy one Saulo, was from Sao Paulo too. So we have a blast and decide we need to bail home prior to the ‘you're stupid if you drive' level. Well it turned out in the exchange of goodbyes (we did business cards earlier) that poor, sweet smoking hot Saulo will be all alone as the rest of the guys are heading home Friday and he is here through Sunday so I invite him to my fiesta. It's just not American to leave handsome foreigners from acceptable countries to rot away in their hotel rooms when they can come be charming and hot at my house. I am trying to be a social ambassador for America. I have converted thousands....or at least hundreds of America haters. Hey, we're not all that bad. We're cool. You like us. We rock in small liquor fueled groups.

 

My sister completely freaked out when I told her this. She was all shades of "What if he kills us?" I look at her and I'm all shades of  ‘Wiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. babe'? He's a sexy professional in for a conference not an ax murderer. What? He's going to kill everyone at the party? How? Spike the lemonade a la Jim Jones? So just don't drink the punch!

 

So it's the fiesta and I walked out front and saw Saulo pull up. Yep. Still lickably darling and carrying liquor-liked him even more! I went to greet him and he was acting kind of odd.

 

He proceeded to tell me that he got lost and went to the wrong house. He knocked on the door and "A man dressed like the Village People answered."

 

The Village People? Which one?

 

He replied "The cop"

 

Hmmmm...

 

"But you know ahhhh....without the pants." And does the hand gesture for no pants.

 

EEEK! Again, Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?! No, I don't know "without the pants"!!!

 

Funnier yet, Saulo actually asked the partially nekkid faux peace officer if I was around (nice!) The guy said no and told Saulo I was in the same house one street over.

 

I puzzle it over and realize it must be drop dead gorgeous neighbor guy. Seriously. Really scrumptious. We don't speak really as he thinks he's too sexy for his shirt and he's just not that hot but anywho, he's my neighbor. Apparently one who enjoys impersonating a partially clothed member of a 1970s concept disco group at home.

 

Gotta rethink this whole thing now...luscious neighbor guy answering door ½ nekkid bespeaks of something I really don't want to hear about ya' know?

 

I think after the ‘experience', Saulo was a little nervous at my pad prolly wondering if it was the Den of Iniquity (not recently babe) but quickly realized the drinks were cold, the food and folks rocked. He had a blast and fit in fine with the gang and rolled back to Brazil with grand stories of Meg, casa de Megster and my neighbor on 68th Street with the interesting proclivities....

 

Now I'm wondering what the Hell else the other neighbors are doing behind closed doors? Starting to doubt it's all gardening and ESPN now!

PS-I said young man, you need to put on your pants!


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 11:13 AM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Thought Du Jour
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: Waylon Jennings

Have you ever looked back on someone you once dated and thought ‘Thank God the only thing I caught from him was Athlete’s Foot?’


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 6:16 PM NZD | Post Comment | Permalink
Thursday, October 4, 2007
The Tale of a Toy Hyena
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Blaqk Audio - Stiff Kittens
Saturday I'm ‘happily' shoveling horse poop when my hilarious neighbor Khrystal comes tooling down the alley with her latest rescue dog-a big Great Dane/black stranger mix. Now see, she puts me to shame. She has 5 dogs, 5 horses, goats, turtles and an emu-all rescues. I'm down to 2 dogs, 2 cats, 8 goldfish (RIP Spike and Mr. Benson) and a horse. Sounds much more manageable now doesn't it mom....but I digress. To fill you in on Khrys, she's hilarious! This is my neighbor most likely to be playing King of the Mountain for beer and bragging rights across the street on the neighbor's fill dirt pile. Yep. My type of neighbor-a totally cool chick.

So I ask Khrys how her menagerie is and she tells me she took her dog Becker to the Biltmore Fashion Square. The Biltmore, as it's referred to, is old school shopping and pet friendly to the socialites and soccer moms who frequent it. High end shops with lush gardenlike surroundings. A wonderful spot to window shop, day dream, hit Victoria's Secret, etc. The Biltmore is totally the place to see snotty rich broads with their carry bag dogs-AKA animessories (you know, they're animals-they're accessories).

This is not the place you bring your mutt dog that resembles the bastard offspring of a Chinese Crested naked dog and a bag of dried out winter mulch. Seriously.  While Becker is the nicest little dog you'd ever want to meet in a dark alley, he also is one of the ugliest damn dogs I've ever seen. Ever. And I once saw a dog that looked like a cross between a bat and a Brillo pad. Again, seriously.

So there sat Khrys and Becker on a grassy patch when 3 older carefully Botoxed Wisteria Lane kind of gals came up to her just fluttering over Becker.

Blonde 1:  What kind of dog is that?!

Khrys: He's a toy hyena.

Blonde 2: Really?! I've heard of those. Isn't the waiting list for one 5 years?

Khrys is acting all shades of conspiratorial now like she's telling them a major secret. She lowers her voice, leans in and whispers "Actually, I bought him on eBay and smuggled him in through Mexico." Looks all around like she's making sure no one was listening.

Blonde 3: I think that's how a gal at my club got hers! Or did she come in through Canada?

Blonde 2: What's his name?

Khrys: Sir Beckawalla Prime

Blonde 3: Oh my!

Khrys: It's his registered African name. We just call him Becker.

Blonde 1: Do Toy Hyenas bark much?

Khrys: Oh no! In fact they don't bark at all. They....yodel.

Blondes 1 & 3: Really!?

Blonde 2: I've heard that!

Khrys: Yep, really. Toy Hyenas are yodeling all over Africa as we speak. (Flings her arm out in a wide arc for drama)

Bynow, Becker realizes he's got a great thing going. All 3 of these women are making kissy sounds and petting him. He decides to further explore his relationship with Blonde 1 by wrapping his front legs around her in a dog hug.

Blonde 1: Oh look! He's hugging me!

Khrys: Oh yeah. Toy hyenas are known for hugging. Total huggers!

Blonde 2: I've heard that.

Khrys: Yep, all over Africa wild Toy Hyenas are yodeling and hugging and just happily living their furry lives roaming across the savannahs.

At that point, Khrys said she could no longer keep up the façade of the Toy Hyena and made excuses and kissy sounds and took off muttering to herself-Yeah-Toy Hyenas yodeling and hugging....

I wish I could be a fly on the wall when these gals tell others and it becomes an urban legend or worse yet, reality, ‘cuz people are really that stupid. Toy Hyenas!

 

You may be laughing now, but mark my words-they're coming!


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 8:01 PM NZD | Post Comment | Permalink
Current Crushes
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: Paramour - Misery Business
 Here's what I'm totally in lurve with....for now.
  • Reaper
  • The Spiderwick Chronicles
  • Sage Derby cheese
  • Booth's Walnut Skin Conditioner
  • Incubus Oil & Water
  • Calvin Klein Euphoria
  • Root Ginger Patchouli candles
  • Odwalla carrot juice
  • Fall evenings
  • Last One Standing


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 2:11 PM NZD | Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, October 1, 2007
Dream Lurver AKA Ode to Mike Rowe
Mood:  amorous
Now Playing: Fat Boy Slim
Ever since college, the epitome of my perfect dream man has been Howie Long. Some would say my standards must be low but he's smart, funny, charming, classy, a great dad, a great husband, big, and seriously easy on the eyes. Those are just the salient high points. Howie has been the standard by which the mortal man is measured. No wonder I'm single....right?

So anywho, lately I've been rethinking the perfect man for me and it's changed. It's changed to Mike Rowe. Who would have thunk it? Seriously. I find myself getting sucked in to every episode of ‘Dirty Jobs' that I come across just to watch him in action. He's like an improved 21st Century Howie Long with a snarky edge that is soooooo uber sexy. What can I say? I am a lexophile. I love words and reading. So a man with a firm grasp on an exceptional vocabulary and hilarious to boot is beyond yummy.

My top ten reasons why Mike Rowe is a golden god.

  1. He uses the word ‘acumen' with well, acumen
  2. He can find the humor in any situation which comes in handy whilst firmly grasping an artificial horse vagina
  3. He is never at a loss for words or if he is, he sure can pull it off
  4. Killer blue eyes that water easily when confronted with pig slop
  5. The ability to make a fart joke with his arm in a cow's ass
  6. He makes road kill sexy
  7. That smile
  8. Intelligent, yet dirty
  9. Oh the places he puts his hands
  10. Pigs

Move on over Howie, there's a new sheriff in town!

POST SCRIPT: Deb hates this pic. I like this pic. He looks like someone just snapped his naked ass with a twisted towel. I like that look.

How's this Deb? Better?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dirty and STILL  hot!


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 6:33 PM NZD | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Thursday, October 4, 2007 2:03 PM NZD
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Randomness
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Psychedelic Furs

I believe there is an art and a science to pancakes and that I have mastered neither.

 

Riddle me this: Why is the NFL Super Bowl championship win referred to as ‘World Championship’? Huh?! Everywhere else in the world football is soccer.

 

Why on earth are berets coming back into style?! What spastic hillbilly decided that those hideous woolen head doilies should be exhumed?! Didn’t we have enough exposure to berets with Monica (slurp, slurp-great cigar) Lewinsky? Let’s just leave the lame beret wearing to the French as it should be in the natural order of things.

 

 

If you haven’t seen it, rent Hot Fuzz. If you liked Shaun of the Dead (and really, who didn’t?!) you’ll dig it. Very clever....in an in your face subtle way.

 

My perfect man: Aidan Shaw


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 5:40 PM NZD | Post Comment | Permalink
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
For Love of a Care Bear
Mood:  silly
Now Playing: XTC
So my cousin's having her annual Halloween party at the renovated rectory she and her husband lovingly restored. Super cool pad to say the least. All the original stained glass windows and doors, hand carved newel posts, painted wainscoting, and a bar in the front vestibule. Ok, so they added that little golden feature recently....

Anywho, I'm totally down for the party and making plans to attend when I figured I'd check in with my friend Josh and see if he wanted to meet me there as IN to OH is but a hop, skip and a jump. We're yakking away and I start to invite him when....

Me: Soooo, I got the invite to my cousin's Halloween party in OH.

Josh: Reals? So are you asking me to go or what?

Me: I don't know. How do you look in a Care Bear outfit?

Josh: What the f*ck? A Care Bear? Seriously?

Me: Yup-A Care Bear. Can you pull it off or should I be busily looking elsewhere for my arm candy?

Josh: Well, what are you going as?

Me: Skeletor.

Josh: Are you shitting me?

Me: Totally but wouldn't you laugh your ass off if you were at a Halloween party and you saw a couple with the dude dressed as a Care Bear and the chick as Skeletor?!

Josh: Chick, you are crazy!


Hmmmmm. So I'm guessing that I should probably return the Grumpy Care Bear outfit then....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grumpy Care Bear and Skeletor sitting in a tree....K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First came love....hey now, they're both consenting blue adult creatures.


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 4:04 PM NZD | Post Comment | Permalink

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