Mood: silly
Now Playing: Flobots
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Meg-O-Rama...The Blog
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Thursday, May 1, 2008
Where in the World is Megs?
Mood: silly Now Playing: Flobots
Thursday, April 24, 2008
The Tao of Meg-O-Rama?.
Mood: mischievious Now Playing: Metallica The Tao of Meg-O-Rama….Hedonistic or heathenistic, you decide....
Always cut the bone out of a t-bone steak and gnaw it like a rabid MinPin
Scenic views are well, rather scenic hence the name
There are few things in life that are more beautiful than a perfectly grilled slab of meat or having a brewery in the laundry room
Throw coins into fountains as it’s cheaper than buying lottery tickets and your odds of winning are practically the same
Milk, juice, water, etc. always taste better when consumed directly from the carton in the fridge (now consider this a disclaimer)
Heaven probably smells a lot like a bookstore in the morning
Everything is better after a hot shower with a cold beer….seriously
Sublime sampled Fiddler on the Roof in their song Date Rape (Go. Listen. Now.)
Sundays are best spent naked on the couch watching cartoons and movies
The best meal in the world is freshly grilled tortillas topped with butter and hot sauce eaten while standing at the kitchen counter
Underwear should be made of chenille
The world is a far better place due to old things with V8s that go fast and I’m SO not talking Hugh Hefner
Cheese should have its own national holiday
Movies are better when things blow up….bags of flaming poo, mayonnaise factories, Lindsay Lohan’s career, etc.
The addictive magic of rotisserie chicken AKA the supermarket’s $5 destruction of the home cooked meal
Posted by azcoolchick0
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Updated: Thursday, April 24, 2008 3:38 PM NZD Saturday, April 19, 2008
Life Lessons Hmmmm Not Really
Mood: chillin' Now Playing: Silver Sun PIckups Sometimes, life's lessons are easy like mixed sports metaphors never work or Eugene Levy is no Harold Ramis.
Speaking of Eugene Levy, American Pie was a career cursing movie. Name one actor whose career survived or thrived after that cult classic other than "And one time at band camp" Alyson whatever her name is chick on ‘How I met your mother'.
Seriously.
Shannon Elizabeth? Crash, burn from hot young it girl to hey low grade poker tourney whore.
Tara Reid? Crash, burn and how did she go from fresh faced starlet to drunken semi naked party trash so fast.
Mena Suvari? American Beauty then crash, burn and where is she now file?
Nastasha Lyons? Several good films then total crash, burn and self implosion.
Jason Biggs, Seann William Scott, Chris Klein and that other guy....yeah, enough said....
Ok, Jennifer Coolidge survived but for what? She went from campy and kitschy to well Legally Blond....2. Enough said!
Posted by azcoolchick0
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Updated: Thursday, April 24, 2008 3:33 PM NZD Friday, April 18, 2008
Thank You Easter Bunny
Mood: mischievious Now Playing: La Vie en Rose So Easter came and went. Forgive me, but I'm just not big on Easter. Unless you are a) of the age to get baskets of treats and hunt eggs and other treasure, or b) have smalls around of the age to get baskets of treats and hunt eggs and other assorted treasure, where is the fun? Really.
My parents called me a few days before Easter. I hadconveniently or not forgotten Easter. Seriously. I know crazy right. How does one forget Easter asks my mother. Blame it on the stress I say.
So anywho, I call mom to wish her Happy Easter and she goes on and on (READ: guilt central) about how it wasn't even like Easter with no kids hunting eggs.
What?
"Uh, Mom, we haven't hunted for eggs in years."
"I know", mourned Mom, "it's just not Easter!"
"No mom it's that we're too old to scrounge around for pop's special $5 camouflage eggs."
Yes ladies and gentlemen, my dad would let us color our brains out-as one did-with crayons and vinegar and food coloring. No fancy stickers and glitter pens and crap back then. He would then kick us out of the kitchen and close the door like some mad hermit scientist. He would then dye eggs, hand painting them all shades of camouflage to different shrubbery and hide them in the yard. If you found one of his eggs you got $5. Screw the regular ones or the candy ones! You wanted to find pop's for the cash and the bragging rights!
I remind Mom of these.
"Yeah Mom, one June evening you came in from the yard and you told Dad ‘Oh Dave, one of the baby birds died in the Pyricantha! It's awful would you get it out and dispose of it?' So sis and I follow him, morbid children I know, and he reached in and there was an awful squishing noise. Almost a splatting really. Ewwwwwwww! He pulled out his hand and in it were the wet moldering remains of a rotting Easter egg. A certain special $5 camouflage egg that apparently was decorated and hidden so well that no one found it for more than 2 months."
She doesn't remember them. ‘Well honey, sometimes memory loss is a blessing.' No doubt right?
She starts again with the hue and cry of it just wasn't Easter without kids.
"It just wasn't Easter! We didn't even have ham!"
"Why didn't you buy a ham mom?"
"Well, because it's too fattening!"
Posted by azcoolchick0
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Updated: Saturday, April 19, 2008 4:30 PM NZD
Rather like grilling Cheerios I would say
Mood: silly Now Playing: Tori Amos So it's that time of year. Those blissful and oh so few weeks we lovingly refer to as Spring in Arizona. You know, the ones that lull you into a false sense of security that maybe the summer won't be that bad. Yeah. Ahhhhhh! Lovely! High seventies/low eighties daytime, mid 60s at night. Perfect weather for being outside. Grilling, hot tubbing, yard work, napping in the hammock, chasing dogs around the yard, planting flowers, napping in the hammock, drinking beer, etc. Pretty much everything goes good with great weather and everything's better outside.
This also is the time to grill any food that can possibly be successfully grilled. Love, love to grill! Steaks, pizza, lobster, Cheerios...kidding, the Cheerios proved to be a dismal failure, but I digress.
The other night I was outside and the dogs were running around barking at all of the still unknown and as yet undetermined dangers in the yard. The weather was gorgeous-just getting cool and a slight breeze perfumed with allergen laden flowers and a plethora of grilled meat. Yummy! I threw on my lightly seasoned ribeye and Grillmegster was in the yard!
As I flipped the beef (Moooooooooooo!), I said rather loudly (go figure that) to the dogs "Yes beef...it's what's for dinner darlings" mimicking the voice of Edna, you know the tiny awful yet hilarious fashion designer in The Incredibles. (Haven't seen it darling? Well go then! Go! You must watch! I wait for you here darling!)
"Yes beef...it's what's for dinner darlings" - yes, I know a classic Meganism.
Then I heard my hot married cool neighbor Alex mockingly mimic back (again, go figure) "Really? Beef's what's for dinner darlings?"
When I finished laughing, I silenced him with a casual remark about although that was rather embarrassing, it did not quite reach the level of, say, a grown man singing ‘I ain't no Hollaback girl' at the top of his lungs with his 7 year old daughter...and knowing all the words...and odder still, the dance moves.
Hollaback girl....exactly.
Posted by azcoolchick0
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Updated: Saturday, April 19, 2008 4:33 PM NZD Wednesday, April 16, 2008
35 Rather Ponderish Things....
Mood: silly Now Playing: MGMT 01. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to? No. Uncle Virgil is still in prison. Kidding! Yeah no! Ran into him in LA in '94 and wondered WTF had I ever been thinking? 02. Is it harder to reject or be rejected by someone? 03. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? 04. What is the best thing about your current job? 05. Do you wish cell phone etiquette were a required class? 06. What's the last thing you drank? 07. Have you been on a date in the park? 08. Where are you going on your next vacation? 09. Have you ever thrown up from working out? 10. Are most of the friends in your life new or old? 11. Have you ever gotten so wasted you didn't know what was going on? 12. Do you like pulp orange juice? 13. Are you touchy-feely? 14. Did you cry at your high school graduation? 15. Do you prefer the tanning bed or the sun? 16. What are two of your favorite places to eat? 17. What could you tolerate someone who snores or a sleep walker? 18. Do you consider yourself bi-polar? 19. What's something your friends make fun of you for? 20. What's your worst personality flaw? 21. Have you ever gone to therapy? 22. Would you ever parachute off of a plane? 23. Have you ever ridden an elephant? 24. Are you Irish in any way? 25. Have you ever ridden in the back of a U-Haul? 26. Do you like to play Scrabble? 27. Have you ever been to a nude beach? 28. Have you ever drank Jack Daniels? 29. Have you ever had sex on the beach? 30. What are you saving your money up for right now? 31. What was the last gift card you received? 32. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? 33. Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your opinion of them? 34. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober person? 35. What do you do when you spot a bug in your house?
Posted by azcoolchick0
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Updated: Thursday, April 17, 2008 11:00 AM NZD Monday, March 3, 2008
Things I Learned Over the Weeekend
Mood: a-ok Now Playing: Blue October 1. Guys who refer to their girlfriends/sig o's as ‘my lady' are fucktard Neanderthals
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Updated: Thursday, April 17, 2008 11:02 AM NZD Thursday, January 3, 2008
Yes Meg-O-Rama, there is a Santa Claus
Mood: silly Now Playing: Heaven 17 Several of you have emailed and asked about the items I mentioned on my Christmas 'hit list'. Are they real? Where can I buy them? Do they come in red? Is child labor in China coloring them with fully leaded paint?
Well Virginia, I have good news and bad news for you. Some are real and some are simply 'Fig Newtons' of my overly fertile imagination. It's my blog and my perogative in story telling. Most of what you read is real, some is ever so slightly exaggerated and some is just down right made up hoo-ha bunk!
Which percentage is what? I have no idea--only my ghost writer knows for sure!
Here's the breakdown for those inquiring minds who wanted to know:
2. Play-Doh scented perfume - REAL! The Hasbro limited fragrance release is available online at http://www.demeterfrangrance.com
3. A Dog the Bounty Hunter Chia Pet - FAUX! Unfortunately, this item is simply a ‘Fig Newton' of my imagination. If you market it, I want royalties!
4. Another case of Pipeline Porter from Kona Brewery - REAL! This is the Kona Brewery's first new beer in 8 years! This porter has chocolate and coffee overtones and is produced using coffee from my cousin Timmy's organic coffee company. Kona's beers are distributed in Colorado , Arizona , California , Idaho , Montana , Nevada , New Mexico , Oregon , Washington and Japan . Pipeline Porter is expected to be available through February 2008 only. Stock up like I did.
5. An "I'm with the prude" t-shirt - FAUX! An idea I have kicked around for a while. I'm sure you can find anyone to create one for you online. Again, you decide to market, I want in!
6. The Best of the Muppet Show 15 DVD set - REAL! Available wherever DVDs are sold including eBay
7. The Hilary Clinton Nutcracker - REAL! Available online everywhere or at http://www.hillarynutcracker.com
8. Junior Lasik surgery kit - FAUX! Major Fig Newton of my imagination! Seriously folks this is about as good of an idea as toy heyenas!
9. The Marie Antoinette Action Figure with Ejector Head - REAL! Available online at one of my favorite online stores: http://www.mcphee.com
10. A one year subscription to the "Bacon of the Month Club" - REAL! Available at several different online vendors-surprisingly-including http://www.zingermans.com and http://www.greatfulpalate.com
11. A bumper sticker that says "Even my retarded dog beat up your honor student" - FAUX! Much like Sangina's Mohawk, totally fake! I just feel strongly about it.....go figure.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
New Years Day Movie and a Sunrise
Mood: bright Now Playing: U2-Running To Stand Still Ahhhh....New Year's eve! A night for rich food, fun, friends and frothy beverages as well as alliteration! I am not really a night person. That being said, if I'm not asleep or at least winding it down by 10pm, I start to wind up again to all shades of hyper! Not good when you already are prone to bouts of insomnia to start amping back up to full energy late at night. I've tried everything. No caffeine, no video games, no violent television (skipped the Iowa Caucus for this very reason) blah, blah, blah, et al. It's just me. Some weeks I am up watching Shark Week on Discovery and vacuuming at 2am. It's a bummer as my best thoughts come around 10pm so again, I either act on the urge to write and then I'm up all night or I write the idea down, go to bed and then forget it later. So New Years eve for me is a write off. Stay out partying and then risk not sleeping at all or cash it in early and be a pooper. So out I go, but when I return home I like to stay up for how ever many hours remain until sunrise watching movies. Here are a few choice gems that have been viewed over the years for New Years day morning....
This year? Drum rollllllllll puhleeze! Once Upon A Time In The West. Hands down the best western EVER!!!! Happy New Year all! Here's wishing you and yours a 2008 filled with all the good things!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
My Deep Dark Secret 2007
Mood: special Now Playing: Keely Smith In light of the upcoming New Year, it's time for me to come clean on something. You know the proverbial clean slate and all that. So here you go.... My Deep Dark Secret Version 2007 I don't like James Blunt. Seriously. I HATE James Blunt! His nasal whine is like a bucket of spoons being put through an industrial wood chipper! I'd rather listen to Kathy Griffin gargle maple syrup or stab myself in the eye with a trout than listen to him! I know everyone loves him but he reminds me of Oasis AKA another British import that everyone seemingly adored on a large scale and I detested. I refer to this kind of music as "Whiney British Lads" unless it's Beck and then I refer to it as "Whiney German Lad" music. Whew! Glad I got that off my chest! I think that has to be the lamest deep dark secret I've ever had. I'd better swing naked from a chandelier next year....kidding.
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Updated: Wednesday, January 2, 2008 5:44 AM NZT
These Are a Few of My Favorite Things
Mood: happy Now Playing: Thelonious Monk Here I sit, smug after Christmas. Not bad. Not bad at all. I am off to scrounge in the fridge for some ham or leftover breakfast casserole or grilled lemon pepper pork or....you get my drift but I wanted to take a brief moment and share some of my favs before the New Year. These are a few of my latest and greatest ‘Favorite Things'....
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Updated: Wednesday, January 2, 2008 5:50 AM NZT Monday, December 24, 2007
Merry Christmas
Mood: lyrical Now Playing: Oh Holy Night Merry Christmas from ‘everyone' here at Meg-O-Rama! If you do not celebrate Christmas, then happy whatever you do celebrate! If you're an agnostic or atheist and celebrate nothing more than a mocha frappucino at Starbuck's, I think you're stupid giving up an excuse for gifties! Well that and the universe is infintely greater than any one man's beliefs so better safe than sorry in my mind. Anywho, here's to 2008 being a stellar year for everyone and best wishes for a presidential candidate from any party who I could actually be excited about supporting because right now, it's more a choice of what is the lesser of all evils. But that's just my opinion and admittedly, I have been known to be wrong....
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Updated: Wednesday, January 2, 2008 5:53 AM NZT Sunday, December 23, 2007
All I Want for Christmas
Mood: celebratory Now Playing: Rat Pack Christmas Dear Santa,
Please bring me:
1. Remote control Sumo Wrestlers 2. Play-Doh scented perfume 3. A Dog the Bounty Hunter Chia pet 4. Another case of Pipeline Porter from Kona Brewery 5. An "I'm with the prude" t-shirt 6. The Best of the Muppet Show 15 DVD set 7. The Hilary Clinton nutcracker 8. Junior Lasik surgery kit 9. The Marie Antoinette Action Figure with Ejector Head 10. A one year subscription to the "Bacon of the Month Club" 11. A bumper sticker that says "Even my retarded dog beat up your honor student"
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Updated: Wednesday, January 2, 2008 5:55 AM NZT
Are you the next winner of Publisher's Clearing House
Mood: d'oh Now Playing: Johnny Test (cartoon) One time, I decided I was going to order a magazine from Publisher’s Clearing House. Don’t ask. I respond to all of their sweepstakes and for some reason, I was overwhelmed with guilt that I never bought anything from them. Well, the purchase choices are rather limited unless you are a 67 yr old mid western house wife. I don’t need a battery operated ice scraper. I don’t want The Bible on 10 cds. I already have the fingertip personal massager. I decided that I’d order a magazine. You can always use another magazine! It’s bathroom fodder if nothing else or you do as I do and take a few months with you on business trips and read them on the plane. So all I was all shades of excited to see my first edition of Marie Claire! The day came and in my mailbox was the highly anticipated issue! I whipped it out and opened it up and realized it wasn’t Marie Claire it was a copy of Maxim! What the…..?! Long and short of it, apparently I marked the wrong box on the order form. Oops! Crap! Like I really wanted a subscription to Maxim! The articles aren’t nearly as good as those in Razor or Playboy and I don’t want subscriptions to those either! I just have no desire to try to cherry pick articles to read from out of where they have been shoehorned in between pics of naked chicks for the next 12 months! That’s why I totally LURVE Details as it has all the super cool articles, hip new artists, music, fashion, social issues, etc. and no nudie pics but I digress…. So the question begged to be asked—what would be the worst magazine subscriptions to get that you never really signed up for? What magazine would you never want to receive for 12 months? Here’s my list thus far…..
Ladies and Gentlemen, we are experiencing technical difficulties
Mood: on fire Now Playing: Deep Purple Not sure what made the last post go all shades of verklempt on me, but Lycos is working on it. Thanks for the emails about the issue with only being able to post one comment. Never really thought about anyone other than friends and family wanting to post so by al means, have at after they fix the solo post dealio.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Lucky Slice of SMILING BREAD rare WON?T MOLD
Mood: silly Now Playing: Robert Plant & Alison Krauss If I've said it once, I'll say it three thousand and five times: I LOVE EBAY! Seriously!
You really can find almost anything on eBay from plastic crab claw harmonicas to underage Pilipino houseboys. Does it get any better than this? Only at Home Depot but I digress....
So I'm trolling eBay other night finishing scads of last minute Christmas shopping when I came across the following which I submit for your bemused perusal:
"Lucky Slice of SMILING BREAD rare WON'T MOLD"
WHAT?!?!
My first thought was that I had stumbled across one of those fun poorly translated listings from China complete with lead based paint like:
"Most Honorable Father of Ancestor boy Real Russian you buy!" Or some other poorly worded random item....
But nooooo, it is exactly what it is. A piece of toast.
Hmmmmmm....why this surprises me, I don't know as you can find Jesus on a Poptart, Ghandi on a dartboard and a ham hock shaped like Marlon Brando's clavicle on eBay. I checked out some other weird foody listings like the pork rind shaped like an ‘S' (bidding is up to $6 on that one!) but none of them held my attention like the Lucky Slice of SMILING BREAD! Check it mang! Check it! I mean Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. Mang! Only in America!
I especially like the description 'cuz really what do you get for the person who has everything this Christmas but a rare piece of toast...
If I was bursting, it wouldn't be with excitement.... per se.
Monday, December 10, 2007
A Leetle Bit Hypochondriac
Mood: special Now Playing: Kanye West Marie Osmond may be a little bit country and her brother may be a little bit rock and roll, but I am definitely a little bit hypochondriac.
Now don't get me wrong. It's not an ongoing crisis deal that effects how I live. I don't think I have the Bubonic Plague on a regular basis.....more like an every few years basis. Just every now and then I become convinced that I may have some dread disease.
Perhaps it's because as a little child, my sister told me that gypsies left me in the trash and mom and pop were just fattening me up to eat me. Convenient if I could blame my ‘condition' on her, but most likely it's not due to the trauma she inflicted on me on an ongoing basis during our younger years lest we forget the story of Rafael Septian but I digress.
The first time I remember thinking I had a reason to contact the Centers for Disease Control was in 4th grade. My best friend, Kristen, invited me to go to Key Biscayne, FL, with her parents for vacation. We played on the beach and ran around from morning to night. It was a blast!
One morning, while brushing my teeth, I was horrified to notice that my skin looked kind of weird all shades of bubbly and grey. OH MY GOD!!!! I reached up with a shaking hand and touched a patch on my arm. I was beyond horrified to see it start to pull away!!!! I then pulled at it some more and the entire section came off in my hand!!!! I ran out of the bathroom crying!
I wouldn't calm down but then again, I wouldn't tell Kristen's parents what was wrong. I just kept crying and rocking like an unhappy autistic. Disturbed, they had me call my parents.
The phone call went a little like this:
Pop: Hello? Me: Pop, it's me. Pop: What's the matter? Me: I have Leprosy!!! Pop: What?! Me: My skin's coming off! I'm worried my nose will fall into my Cheerios!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! Pop: What?! Let me talk to Dr. Munsell! (Kristen's dad)
Dr. Munsell got on the phone and laughed as he told pop that no, I didn't have Leprosy, I had gotten a bad sunburn the first day there and I was now peeling.
Oops! Sunburn and subsequent peeling. Check! On the bright side, at least my nose never fell into my Cheerios and I was never sent away to an island to go live with the other slowly disintegrating lepers.
It didn't really happen again until college. One morning, after yet another wild night of partying, I woke up around 7am and wandered out to the kitchen. As I was standing at the sink getting a glass of water I looked out the window to the backyard and the entire yard was a blur of white! OH MY GOD! I was blind!!! I had alcohol poisoned myself into blindness! How on earth would I ever buy clothes and dress myself again!?! Would I have to get a handler much like Stevie Wonder? Hopefully one with better fashion sense....
I rubbed my eyes and tried to look again. I realized that I could see shapes but no colors! WAHOO!!! I wasn't blind! But I had apparently partied myself into color blindness! As I stood there overwhelmed by the sheer well overwhelmingness of the situation, I saw a sparrow hopping around the yard. Huh? If I was colorblind, how did I see that?
Upon closer inspection, I realized that I was not blind, colorblind or really anything other than just screamingly hungover and incredibly stupid. It had apparently snowed overnight in Tucson and, desert rat that I am, I hadn't recognized the snow for what it was.
Oops! Snow and a hangover. Check! Again, on the bright side, I can still watch Desperate Housewives and my sister will never dress me like Brittney Spears for her own amusement.
I have to say though I am getting better. Example? Just last week when I was sick, I had a temp of 102-103 and my neck hurt soooo fricking bad! As I lay on the couch suffering, I only briefly considered a diagnosis of meningitis. Briefly but not seriously. I mean, I didn't even Google it for more information....
Baby steps people! Baby steps!
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Updated: Wednesday, January 2, 2008 5:58 AM NZT Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Creeping Crud
Mood: down Now Playing: John Mayer I had seven strains of the creeping crud come through my house during Thanksgiving and I was rather certain that I had successfully bypassed the contagions when SLAM! WHAM! CRACK! I was down! We've got a piper down! So I have been guzzling Gatorade, hibernating like a fleece encrusted grizzly and feeling like ass. But not as asslike as I would have been if I hadn't started sucking down the oj and Zicam. Ode to Zicam Multi-Symptom Cold & Flu
Zicam You help me sleep You take the aches away You rock my world And make it all better However "Virtually tasteless" Is a horrific lie Unless someone Takes it With Jagermeister! My suggestion? Take it like a shot. Toss it back quickly and gulp down an oj chaser. <shudder!>
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Updated: Wednesday, January 2, 2008 5:56 AM NZT Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Subject: Random Thoughts
Mood: hug me Now Playing: Neil Diamond-Sweet Caroline Subject: Random Thoughts Date: Wed, 21 Nov 2007 06:15:18 -0800 From: "Anthony" To: "Meg-O-Rama" (1) Happy Thanksgiving; Happy Birthday; Happy Happy; et al (2) Did you think that Neil Diamond admitting that his song referencing touching, etc. was based upon his view of a 5 year old girl dressed in her riding togs with her pony was incredibly creepy and pedophilic? "Touching me, touching you! Sweet Caroline!...." Yeah, nothing creepy there! <shudder!>
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Current Crushes
Mood: cheeky Now Playing: Elio Schaivo Current lurves of the moment....
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