Can You Say Annoying $ell Out? I Knew You Could!
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: Who else?!!!!
It happened again last night. Just when I think the endless Hell is over, I find out I am terribly, terribly wrong. (Amazingly enough, this actually does happen occasionally…rarely, but it does.)

What happened you ask? I had to hear Green Day’s ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams’ one more fricking time! I believe this makes like one kazillion-five hundred gazillion and one third times (I changed the station before it finished last time) that I have heard this nauseating piece of crap. Jeesh! Like it isn’t bad enough that it is still being played every hour on the hour in every fricking rotation by every radio station!

So my totally ‘abbreviated’ self has just rolled home from seeing a comedy show with a group of friends at the Improv (hilarious comedian, total blast, story for another time) and Saturday Night Live is on. Yeah, I know it’s an off season re-run, but it never occurred to me as I plopped drunkenly down on the couch to enjoy some more mindless entertainment, that Green Day would be the ‘special’ musical guest – unexceptional musical guest is more like it. And what song do they just have to play to squash my buzz even faster than seeing my ex’s psychotic ex at the Improv? Yeah—Thoroughfare of Kaput Imaginings as sung by the diminutive rockers with ginormous heads.

I just don’t get how Green Day’s total and utter commercial $ell out is being so openly embraced. What guys? Much like the ‘Little Engine That Could’ are you muttering “We think we can! We think we can!” as you work your asses off to usurp U2’s spot as the ‘We used to be cutting edge and then we completely $old out’ kings?

Every night, it’s the same thing. I say my prayers while being watched closely by three exasperated dogs who just want it all to end so they can go to sleep. It’s always the same mantra I repeat nightly (no, not ‘make them perky’, ‘cuz that one sure wasn’t working). It goes like this…“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray Billie Joe Armstrong stabs himself in the eye as he applies more eyeliner than Tammy Fay Baker ever has in this lifetime. If he should die (or at least lose an eye or otherwise maim himself seriously) before I wake, one less Green Day $ellout album would I have to take.”

Seriously, I would rather undergo sphincter bleaching performed by a blind epileptic than hear that grating noise one more time!

I just hope I haven’t gotten myself so worked up over this tonight that I have that dream again where Hillary Clinton and Tito Jackson are playing naked Twister with a chinchilla and a set of blow up Russian Nesting Dolls…