An ode, of sorts, to bathroom scents...
Mood:  smelly
Now Playing: Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack
Lately our office restroom has had a disturbing trend in scents. And when I say scents, I don't mean your regular nostril burning gag-me-out ones that normally accompany a restroom that has an office of 20-something people taking care of their business there(NOTE: never go in there after lunch). What I am talking about is the auto air refresher AKA the `your shit don't stink' machine on the wall.

Usually, the auto scent deal is ok. I can stand the new car smell bathroom and the `I fell asleep in the Wizard of Oz poppy field' smell. But lately scents are coming out of that thing that are just wrong I tell you. Wrong. There are just some scents that should never be associated with bathrooms.

You are now wondering what. Number one scent that should NEVER be used in a bathroom: banana. Banana and stink do not play nicely together-they will never hold hands and sing Kum-Ba-Ya. In fact, banana actually exacerbates the nasty funk smell in the restroom. Think about it. (Unfortunately, I did). I walked into the bathroom with our rock star receptionist, Tammy, and she verbalized my thoughts exactly "Ugh! God, who ate a bunch of bananas?" Yup. That's what it smelled like. Banana scented poop. Can you say unbelievably vile?

Number two on the list of smells that don't associate well with the bathroom is spearmint. Whoever thought that mint (especially spearmint) and poop were a good match should be taken out and shot in the nearest cornfield. Now it smells like mint scented poop--yeah, not a well thought out concept.

In fact, I think that no bathroom air freshener should ever smell like something edible...food scented bathroom air fresheners are simply unsettling as an area where people `take care of business' (nice bathroom euphemism) should not smell like victuals...