If You Like Pina Coladas...
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Beastie Boys-Licensed to Ill
It started out as a bad day. And when I say bad day, I mean bad like wrong.

Imagine: You wake up the morning after a party at your house. You realize that a hamster apparently built a den in your mouth at some point during the night. A glass of water calls your name from the kitchen. Shift to stumbling sleepily out to the kitchen. You spot a glass of water by the sink. Hey, you think, it's the one you left there last night--SLICK! The lazy chick's way for water--pre-existing (it's just less effort that way). Take a giant glug...and when it hits about mid throat, too late to turn back now, you realize it's not yours--it's not water--it's someone's leftover, flat, 12+ hr old, warm, NASTY ASS gin and tonic.

UGH! No, double UGH!. Actually, let's just go for infinity UGH!

Note to self: Call the Guiness Book of World Records and ask if there is a record for not hurling after chugging day-after party sludge.

I prevailed. I did not chum the kitchen. In fact, I didn't even roark when, an hour later, I decided to hook myself up with some breakfast eats.

A bowl of cereal was just the ticket. Enter: the Lucky Charms. I know some of you are thinking "Hmmm...sounds benign enough." Yeah, sure everything's benign...until you add Pina Coladas. Add Pina Coladas to a bored New Jersey housewife on a cruise and she'll end up sleeping with a 20 yr old male cabaret dancer. Add it to sugar crusted flakes and artificially colored marshmallows and all hell breaks loose. (Or so it seems when you are hungover and mistake the leftover Pina Coladas for the milk...)

Lucky Charms and Pina Coladas...things that make me go UGH...

That's not to say that I won't someday revisit the whole cereal/Pina Colada combination thing. I mean it is a healthier version of the traditional Mickey Mantle breakfast--it has cereal--cereal's fiber.

I'm leaning more towards Fruity Pebbles myself...