'That Guy' - the Office Skeeve
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Depression Blues
Do you ever notice how everywhere you work there is always `that guy'. You know `that guy' who doesn't understand boundaries. The one guy who just takes comments one step way too far.

We all know that sexual harassment exists in the work place. The problem is that most of us are guilty of it. I know I am. In fact, I think you would be hard pressed to find an office where the majority of people working there haven't shared an off color and inappropriate email, particularly a sexual one, with a co-worker of the opposite sex. I particularly enjoyed the one about the streaking, skate-by farter, but I digress...

Anywho, the point is zero tolerance or not, inappropriate behavior occurs `cuz as we all know, shit happens. The difference in your reaction-what you will tolerate and even find heartily amusing versus what you feel is inappropriate and offensive- depends on your relationship with the person who is bandying about the innuendo.

Point in case, `that guy' is walking by the office of a female co-worker and stops quickly in the doorway. The female co-worker, who we'll call Saffron `cuz I just like that name as a pseudonym (I'm just mad about Saffron...), is sitting at her desk eating a banana when `that guy' says, "Oh, Saffron - would you mind terribly if I just stood in your doorway and watched you eat your breakfast?"

Now if Burt the office clown had said that, Saffron would have laughed and said "Sure, but it will cost you extra" as she viciously bit the end off of the banana. The problem was it wasn't Burt who said it. It was `that guy'. The grodie older guy who tells everyone how much he can't stand his wife and is only staying for his kid. The one who gives you the heebie jeebies when he looks at you and licks his lips, because you know what he's thinking about your ass and you wonder if he's utilizing that image late at night while he clenches his king size bottle of Astroglide. `That guy'.

What a total skeeve! What was she supposed to say? "Oh yeah, that'd be a thrill!"? or "Sure and remember, my next show's at 3pm." She actually was so floored that she could only stammer out "Uh, yes!"

I wish Saffron had been able to take a moment to form a better retort. Several come to my mind. "Oh yeah, I'd enjoy that about as much as a bleach enema!" or "Only if you invite your wife to watch with you!"

My favorite response however would have been for her to just pick up a pad of paper and start writing and when he asked what she was doing say, "I'm adding this to my documentation for my sexual harassment suit against you."

Maybe that would shut `that guy' up...

It all just begs the question why does there always have to be a `that guy' office skeeve?