IT BE CHRISTMAS! AKA the Closest Thing You Will See to the Dreaded Christmas Letter...
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Buena Vista Social Club
As I said above, this is the closest you are going to get to a Christmas letter this year. Just not enough interesting stuff that I can share publically without either offending someone, making my mother cry or confessing to several unsolved crimes. So, I am only sending out cards with cleverly (hopefully) worded bits in them to those deserving folks on my extensive list...although I did consider enclosing a nude photo figuring people are always in wont of Yuletide amateur porn but as usual, I digress... Please do not flood me with requests for said naked photo as that was SO the Christmas card of 2000.

Whew! What a year! I can't believe we are skidding into 2005 already! Nothing like a rollercoaster ride to keep one on her toes or in the liquor cabinet...

Now that I have the house thoroughly decked out to resemble Santa's whorehouse in honor of Christmas (I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!), I am going to pour myself a glass of 100 proof gut rot eggnog and fill you in on my year. (Yes, I will skim over the bad bits as no one ever wants to hear them anyway and can you really blame them?).

To be honest, most of the year was a blur. (Since I haven't won the Powerball yet, all my days seem the same) I have taken up a rather odd nomadic existence in the last few years as I seem unable to put down permanent roots in Arizona. In March, I moved for the 3rd time in 2 years (yes, I must be masochistic). I love the new place. I have wonderful views of South Mountain as well as city lights. The animals all have room to roam and the dogs do so enjoy barking incessantly at the neighbors and anything that remotely looks like it deserves to be barked at.

In February, I added to my rescued menagerie. I found a puppy who, to be PC, would ride the short bus if he were human. Chopper, AKA Porkchop, AKA Bounder, AKA Chocolate Thunder, AKA Retardo Montalban has added much silliness to the mix and Molson and Max deserve marble, or at the very least, granite, monuments for tolerating the insanity that is the 36lb idiotic muscle butt. The cats are less tolerant of the hyperactive nutball that likes to carry them around by their heads, but then again, they are cats.

A few months ago, I started this blog at the urging of longtime friend Deb. Needless to say, it has been hours of fun ranting and has probably kept me from being arrested at least once...or twice...or so I keep telling myself. It has given me a forum to put down the random thoughts in my head and to make me realize that man do I have really random thoughts! Surprisingly, I have had tons of visitors to my websites, so apparently there are other freaks of nature out there who enjoy arbitrary brain sniglets. Or perhaps they were just sympathy visits...

I have spent the last several months getting my life back in order. It's amazing that just when you are happily meandering down the path you have chosen, something drastically changes and POOF! You get smacked the `high hard one' to quote my friend Darrin and you find yourself back at square one in the game of life. (The best part about that game is when you get to take your carloads of children and sell them off at the end). As always, in the words of Gloria Gainer (as opposed to Steinham) "I will survive, hey, hey". (How was that for keeping the bad bits short? Uh-huh!)

The clan is coming to my place for Christmas this year! Wahoo! I have gone totally overboard as this is my first `real' Christmas in 2 years (2 years ago I had the spirit but not the room and last year I had the room but not the spirit). My house basically looks like Christmas threw up. I planned poorly for the tree, by falling in love with an enormous Douglas Fir (much to my surprise as I am usually a Noble girl). Nothing like wrassling the tree into the house only to realize it is about a foot taller than the ceiling. Needless to say, that is not the time to find that your handsaw is AWOL. I have to admit though, the bread knife did a remarkable job filling in and I didn't even cut myself--which is a miracle in, and of, itself.

I am looking forward to a week's vacation in Santa Fe with my sister over New Years at the new and completely amazing pad. A week filled with Frito pies and snowboarding...as well as alot of time spent in the house's steam room and the Jacuzzi that looks out over the city--WAHOO! Look for pictures of the vacation madness on Meg-O-Rama after the first of the year.

I hope that this year brought you and yours much love, laughter and happiness. If it didn't, then best wishes for 2005...and hopefully a winning Powerball ticket!