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Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Happy VD!
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: Barry White (How fricking fitting)
Valentine's Day is much like herpes: just when you think it's gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more. No wonder some people refer to it as VD.

Yes, it's that special time of year when chocolate manufacturers and greetings card companies encourage you to demonstrate the extent of your fondness for someone in cold, hard, cash (or the satin-covered equivalent) on February 14th.

Fuck that.

This year, celebrate or commiserate Valentine's Day by telling the truth! Here are some greeting card ideas that they should make for anti-valentines...

* Happy unimaginative, consumerist-oriented, and entirely arbitrary, manipulative, shallow interpretation of romance day.

* You say Valentine's Day is stupid, commercial, meaningless, and overrated but then you bitch and sulk when you don't get a card.

* OK. I bought you flowers, chocolate and a card-Do I get laid now?

* Sorry, I won't be giving you my heart this year, but I do have another throbbing organ you might be interested in.

* Boiled rabbit anyone?

* VD-Give your loved one something they'll never forget...or get rid of.

* This is just to let you know that although I always say that Valentine's Day is stupid and commercial, if you don't get me something really nice, I'm going to go into a massive, pissy fit for days. Yes, I'm a fucking hypocrite. What's your point?

* I know everything about you. I know where you live. I know what you like to do before bed. I know where your spare key is....I love you.

And my personal favorite:

* You'll do.


Posted by azcoolchick0 at 7:27 AM NZT | Post Comment | Permalink
Updated: Tuesday, February 15, 2005 10:16 AM NZT

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